Days 60-66: Andy

November 11^th – 18^th, 2011

Days 60-66

We’ll start with the good news. Sophie passed her Juvenile freestyle skating test and two pre-silver ice dances on Friday, November 11. She worked very hard for months on a new Firebird program to prepare for her test. On the day of the test she was comfortable and confident and even re-choreographed part of her program when she slipped on an integral jump she needed to pass,  by adding the same jump later in her program and she did this without alerting the judges or spectators that anything was different. Emma, Courtney, and I were so proud watching and supporting her.

And we also have terrible news. Sophie’s grandfather Andrew Bernier unexpectedly and tragically passed away just over a week ago.

Sophie didn’t do any schoolwork during that week but she learned a lot.

She learned that she is an important part of a large, loving, supporting family who understand what’s really important in life and who all dropped everything—work, school, domestic responsibilities—and came together to love and support each other during this most difficult, sad, and confusing times in all our lives.

She learned that she can always trust her parents to tell her the truth, even when it’s hard, and that her mom and dad will take care and protect her however we can, but that we can’t save her from all hurt and pain.

She learned that even in times of tragedy and extreme sadness, it’s still okay to laugh and play with your cousins because enjoying each other and life is what’s really important and laughter really can be the best medicine.

She learned that she can still skate and that skating, because it’s her true passion, makes her feel better and stronger even when she feels worse than she ever has in her life.

She learned that men and fathers cry and that showing emotion does not make a man (or woman) weak, it makes us human.

She learned that hugs really do make you feel better—both when you give and receive one (or many).

She learned what a memorial service was like and also what a celebration of life service is like and the importance of both observances.

She learned what a counselor is and how a professional person who is trained to listen can help work through some her confusion, emotions, and questions.

She learned that when someone dies, people bring food and thank goodness because we were all hungry and good food can help heal.

And most importantly, Sophie learned that even when someone we love dies, our love and our memories don’t. Sophie and Kevin, Lily, and I all miss Andrew terribly and we will love him always.