Like most important things in life, one is not born knowing how to travel safely, with confidence, efficiently, and on a budget. I don't lecture the girls about planning, preparing, and traveling but I point out what I've learned, why I've done or prepared certain parts of the trip and why, and Sophie especially seems to be paying close attention.
She really appreciates my efficiency, calmness, and confidence when we travel and I know I am teaching them both by example. I also know that I learned my travel skills from my mother, who took us everywhere (and that's no exaggeration) across and around the country more than once and always on long drives on weekends to unexplored corners of whatever state we were living in. Mom taught me to be safe, be confident, have fun, stay calm, and see where the road can take you. Thanks Mom, without your lessons, I wouldn't have as much to teach my daughters.
Here are some of the things I've learned about traveling in a car with kids many thousands of miles:
1. A cooler for picnic lunches is easier, faster, nicer, and cheaper than any fast food or sit-down restaurants.
2. Have a smaller bag packed full of snacks for in the car that aren't too messy--think pretzels, pepperoni, crackers, and nuts. But keep the bag up with you in the front seat but always within reach and have at least three choices at any given time.
3. Always bring bottles of water. For both drinking and unexpected messes. And only allow water or capri suns in the car and nothing that is red colored.
4. On this trip I am traveling with a small bag packed with nothing by power cords and cables and a power strip for charging all the various toys and electronics--Kindles, Ipods, cameras, lap tops, DS--and every night we plug in and charge up.
5. This year I got the girls pink headphones made for kids. Easy and a relief from the whining and tangles!
*Note on below. I wrote this in Virginia, I think. And for some reason the Chrome book I was working on got stuck on Caps and the girls were sleeping and I didn't want to get up to go to the bathroom to use that light to figure out where the caps button was--NOT where it usually is on a keyboard--and ultimately decided to keep the crazy caps for the list below because it exemplifies another aspect of travel--you can't always depend on technology and sometimes...mosttimes you just gotta work with what you got.*
7. MANY DIFFERENT BOOKS, DRAWING TABS, PUZZLES, ETC IN A BOOKBAG EASILY ACCESSIBLE FOR THE GIRLS IN THE BACK SEAT. LESS CHOICE IS BETTER. THEY WILL MAKE DO AND HAVE FUN WITH WHAT THEY HAVE. IF YOU GIVE THEM MORE THEY WILL OPEN IT ALL AND TAKE EVERY BIT OF IT OUT. IF YOU PROVIDE LESS THEY WILL BE JUST AS HAPPY AND LESS DISTRACTED.
8. TWO SMALL PILLOWS AND ONE LARGE ONE. TWO SMALL BLANKETS AND TWO STUFFED ANIMALS--THIS YEAR KERMIT AND MISS PIGGY ARE TRAVELING WITH US.
9. PACK A BEAN'S CANVAS BAG FULL OF SHOES. A FAMILY OF FOUR AND THREE THOUSAND MILES, WE LIMITED TO 3 PAIRS A PIECE AND THAT'S 12 PAIRS!
10. ONE "DITTY BAG" FOR US ALL.
11. SPLIT THE TRIP UP IN BAGS. I HAVE ONE EASY IN AND OUT BAG PACKED FOR US THREE GIRLS FOR THE FIRST PART OF THE TRIP AND ANOTHER BAG PACKED FOR THE SECOND, LONGER, DAD-INCLUDED, VACATION PART OF THE TRIP AND THAT BAG DOESN'T GET OPENED (or out of the car) UNTIL WE'RE IN FLORIDA.
12. UNDERSTAND THAT I HAVE ACCESS TO LAUNDRY AND THEREFORE I DON'T HAVE TO PACK 14 PAIRS OF UNDERWEAR, SOCKS, ETC.
14. TELL THEM WHAT WHAT TO EXPECTED AND WHERE YOU'RE GOING AND THE BASIC TIMELINE FOR EVERY DAY--THIS LIMITS THE "WHAT ARE WE DOING?" AND "ARE WE THERE YET" QUESTIONS. ALSO--ALWAYS POINT OUT WHEN YOU'RE CROSSING A STATE LINE--IT MAKES THE TRIP SEEM LIKE IT'S GOING FASTER.
15. THIS YEAR I HAVE A BINDER FOR THE TRIP THAT IS ORGANIZED FOR EVERY DAY INCLUDING A PRINT OUT OF EACH HOTEL RESERVATION, DETAILED MAPS FOR EACH DRIVING DAY, AND ANY OTHER IMPORTANT INFORMATION I NEED.
16. I PRE-PROGRAMMED EVERY STOP WE'RE MAKING IN THE GARMIN, ALTHOUGH I DON'T TRUST IT OR LIKE TO USE IT. I AM STILL A MAP AND NOTES DRIVER BUT I LIKE HAVING IT FOR IF AND WHEN I GET LOST. BUT MOST OF MY EXPERIENCE WITH THE THING HAS SENT ME ON THE EXACT OPPOSITE ROUTE I WANT TO DRIVE!
* A note on the above: I was traveling from Gettysburg to Fredericksburg, VA, which just skirts Washington, DC. I actually drove right by where Kim, Paul, and the girls used to live. I got confused with the map quest directions on route 15 an decided to use the Garmin to get me to the battlefield and hotel. Long story short, the machine took me an hour out of the way in order to get to the highway instead of driving a more direct, mapquest, rural route and therefore we missed the Visitors Center at Fredericksburg but still had a very nice, self-directed visit ourselves. Lesson learned: don't trust the Garmin around DC or on country roads--it is obsessed with getting drivers to the interstate.
**Another note on the above. The same circumstance was true on the drive home north from Monticello to Pennsylvannia--long, slow, and rambling (pretty) drive that took twice as long as it needed.
17. Be smart and safe when traveling but not paranoid. It's easy, especially being a woman traveling alone with two small daughters, to be overly cautious with the result of creating a threatening environment yourself. Kids feed off their parent and watch closely to learn how to behave and react, especially to new situations.
It's important to maintain the balance between being safe and aware with a willingness to try new experiences freely and with trust. It's also important for children to learn to trust in the goodness of most people. While it's true that bad things happen to good people every day throughout our country, it's also true that statistically and realistically most people, even strangers, are good people just like you living their lives, working their jobs, going on vacation, loving their families, and for the most part interact with all other people without much incident. Again, it's the balance. I teach the girls to pay attention to the uneasy feelings we all have sometimes--especially women...especially mothers--and to the hair on the back of your neck, the small voice in your ear telling you to be aware, and the "knowing better" sense we have when we're somewhere we're not supposed to be.
19. Always choose a hotel with an indoor pool, especially when traveling with children but true in general. Nothing feels better than to stretch out in a pool and move your tired legs through warm blue water after a long day of driving! And nothing is more exciting to two little girls trapped in a car for hours after a long, cold Maine winter than to jump, play, and dive in a pool and then cuddle up together in a hotel bed in front of cable TV! At this point in American travel, one can expect a nice pool in any reasonably priced family hotel and it's worth any few extra dollars to afford the simple joy at the end of a long day.
19. If you're traveling long distances, try to see as many family members as possible along the way. This plan results in many savings: eating out, hotels, figuring out what's best to do in the area, planning a visit another time when maybe not as convenient, meeting other friends and family, and getting it all done in one fell swoop.
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